During the course of your life you may be handed more than your fair share of lemons. Divorce can most certainly be classified as one of those lemons. No one gets married with the expectation that they will divorce, and the circumstances of divorce are very unpredictable and, often, heartbreaking. When faced with the reality of divorce it is important to recognize it as the start of something new rather than just the death of something old. Clearly divorce signals the end of a marriage, but it also can indicate opportunity and unexpected adventure and self-discovery. Divorce can either be the crack in the road filled with rocky, lifeless, dirt, or the one where unlikely, unwieldy, beautiful wildflowers grow.
Divorce is the time to find something that you are passionate about that you never fully explored during your marriage. Learn how to cook, train for a triathlon, discover the Total Money Makeover and strive to live a debt-free life, anything that engages your mind in a constructive and an enjoyable activity. Divorce is also a chance to kick some of your worst habits. Do not let the stress of divorce further entrench these behaviors, but rather focus on moving away from them. One of the most important things to do after a divorce is end the cycle of negative energy that has likely built up over a long period of time in an unhappy marriage. Quit smoking, quit drinking too much and be mindful of your communication style. It is easy to fall into combative communication patterns in an unhappy marriage that include yelling, name calling, being accusatory, and manipulative. Freeing yourself from this cycle will not only improve your potential communication with your ex but will also attract more positive people into your life in the future. Divorce is a beginning. The beginning of a new life filled with second chances at happiness and fulfillment.
One of the most empowering things that I personally realized upon divorce was that "I, alone, am responsible for my life." I am responsible for my well-being, my happiness, my plugged toilets, my everything. Open up your mind, your heart and let your wildflowers grow. You are responsible for your wildflowers!