This is a relatively trendy word in the psychology community right currently but gaslighting essentially involves a constant form of manipulation and/or emotional invalidation that leaves one party questioning their own sanity. In the case of conflict, gaslighting often involves deeply personal attacks that leave one party reeling from the attack rather than participating in the substance of the argument. Gaslighting tactics do not help reach genuinely resolve conflict. Individuals who have face gaslighting often do everything in their power to avoid even small conflict because it results in emotional degradation.
Many people are conflict avoidant. This does not mean that they are happy 100% of the time and have no reason to engage in conflict. It means that rather than confronting the source of their frustration they are more likely to avoid it. This style of communication can cause major resentment when compounded over the course of a relationship. If you are still angry about the way your spouse handled a situation from a year ago but have never taken the initiative to have a conversation about it, you are carrying around that hostility and it is surely impacting your success couple.
Keep an eye out for the next blog post that will include tips to minimize conflict and maximize results.