During the course of your life, you may receive more than your fair share of lemons. Divorce can most certainly be one of those lemons.
No one gets married with the expectation they will divorce, and the circumstances surrounding divorce are often unpredictable and heartbreaking.
The good news is your divorce doesn't just mark the end of your marriage. It can also signify the beginning of a period of growth for you. But whether that happens and to what extent will depend on you and how you see your situation.
I know because I was once in your situation, first contemplating divorce, then going through one. Now that I'm on the other side, I'm so happy I decided to leave a relationship that was no longer working for me. Here's why, and it's not just because I love wildflowers.
Divorce can be the start of something new.
When faced with the reality of divorce, it's important to recognize it as the start of something new rather than the death of something old. Clearly, divorce signals the end of a marriage. But it also can indicate a chance for opportunity, unexpected adventure, and self-discovery.
Divorce can either be the crack in the road filled with rocky, lifeless dirt. Or it can be the crack where unlikely, unwieldy, beautiful wildflowers grow.
Divorce can be the time to find your passion.
Divorce is the time to find something you're passionate about, something you never fully explored during your marriage.
Learn how to cook, train for a triathlon, discover the "Total Money Makeover" to live a debt-free life. Do anything that engages your mind in a constructive and enjoyable activity.
Divorce can be the opportunity you've been waiting for to kick some of your worst habits.
Divorce offers an opportunity to kick some of your worst habits. Do not let the stress of divorce further entrench these behaviors. Instead, focus on moving away from them.
One of the most important things to do after a divorce is to end the cycle of negative energy that has likely built up over a long period. Quit smoking, drinking too much, and be mindful of your communication style.
It's easy to fall into combative communication patterns in an unhappy marriage that includes yelling, arguing, name-calling, making accusations, and manipulation. Freeing yourself from this cycle will improve your potential communication with your ex and attract more positive people into your life in the future.
Divorce is a second chance.
Divorce is just the beginning — the beginning of a new life filled with second chances at happiness and fulfillment.
One of the most empowering realizations I had upon my divorce was that I, alone, am responsible for my life. I'm responsible for my well-being, my happiness, my plugged toilets, my everything.
So don't be afraid to open up your mind and your heart and let your wildflowers grow. You're responsible for them, too, which means their beauty is also yours to behold.