Lagniappe (aka Blog)


Staying in a Bad Marriage for Too Long

Posted by Elise Buie | Jul 20, 2015 | 0 Comments

The reasons people divorce are many, but there are also many reasons why someone may stay in an unhappy marriage for far longer than they should. Sometimes a person may be “too good”, sticking to rules they grew up with about how marriage is supposed to work even when one person is clearly breaking them.

A Dear Abbey letter shows a case in point. One man in a 40 years marriage has had enough. According to the letter, his wife doesn't take care of herself or the house, belittles him often, and they have slept in the same bed for 20 years. She doesn't cook, clean, and spends money frivolously. She also refuses to go to counseling because she believes she doesn't have a problem.

He says he would seek a divorce but can't afford one, and that he could have had an affair long ago but wouldn't go through with it. The advice that he received is that he should go see a counselor himself to find out why he stayed in a marriage like that for so long. It was also recommended that he receive advice from an attorney about the spending.

People who grew up in a broken home themselves may be extremely reluctant to pursue divorce. They may remember all the ugliness that happened and make a promise to themselves to never repeat the same thing. But sometimes it is healthier to end a relationship than to let it go on unhappily. Counseling is an excellent first step.

Do you need assistance finding marriage counseling resources in the area? Contact Elise Buie Family Law Group, PLLC for a free consultation, or check out our list of recommended reading materials about marriage and divorce on our webpage.

About the Author

Elise Buie

Passionate, creative, problem-solving attorney who crafts solutions rather than obstacles. Elise spends significant time educating her clients on healthy communication skills. Elise also ensures that her clients make informed decisions by understanding the future emotional and financial implications of their decisions. Your family's future is our first priority. Elise teaches her clients new skills to empower them in the future as they adjust to the new family structure. While divorce ends a marriage, it is the beginning of your new, often times, more authentic life. Elise will help you begin that new life with new skills to handle any future challenges.


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At Elise Buie Family Law Group, PLLC, we represent clients from Seattle and Bellevue, Washington, and the surrounding region, including all of King County and the cities of Redmond, Kirkland, Bellevue, Edmonds, Issaquah, Kenmore, Kent, Federal Way, Shoreline, Des Moines, Bainbridge Island, Vashon, Auburn, Renton and Puyallup. We love working with clients from Seattle's unique, eclectic neighborhoods: West Seattle, Fremont, Ballard, Madrona, Queen Anne, Greenwood, Ravenna, Maple Leaf, Wedgewood, View Ridge, Laurelhurst, Windermere, Madison Park, Magnolia, South Lake Union, Capitol Hill, Broadmoor, Phinney Ridge, Crown Hill, Yarrow Point and Mercer Island.

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Elise Buie Family Law Group PLLC
1001 Fourth Avenue, 44th Floor   Seattle, WA 98154