Lagniappe (aka Blog)


What Resentment Does to a Marriage - Death By a Thousand Paper Cuts

Posted by Elise Buie | Sep 07, 2017 | 0 Comments

In most cases, divorces are not prompted by a single concrete moment of conflict or a dramatic affair. The death of your relationship is the result of a million tiny paper cuts that eventually create an accumulation of wounds so severe there is no healing them. As soon as mutual respect is lost in a relationship, so are any hopes of putting things back together.

While it may seem like the best approach to keeping the peace and maintaining happiness in your marriage is to avoid all conflict, it turns out that being non-confrontational is not actually helping you in the long run. Rather than avoiding all confrontation, it is much better to pick your battles. This doesn't mean you should shine a spotlight on every little thing your partner does to annoy you but instead think about whether there is a common theme or root cause that could be addressed via a mature and respectful moment of respectful confrontation. When you fail to address underlying problems in your relationship, it is natural for resentment to build.

Holding on to resentment is one of the easiest ways to relinquish control of your own emotions to another person. There is absolutely no benefit or redeeming quality to resentment and in the long run the person holding onto it will most likely suffer the worst.

About the Author

Elise Buie

Passionate, creative, problem-solving attorney who crafts solutions rather than obstacles. Elise spends significant time educating her clients on healthy communication skills. Elise also ensures that her clients make informed decisions by understanding the future emotional and financial implications of their decisions. Your family's future is our first priority. Elise teaches her clients new skills to empower them in the future as they adjust to the new family structure. While divorce ends a marriage, it is the beginning of your new, often times, more authentic life. Elise will help you begin that new life with new skills to handle any future challenges.


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Elise Buie Family Law Group PLLC
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