Who Keeps the House in a Washington Divorce?

For many Washington couples, the family home is the most valuable asset they own. It also usually carries deep emotional significance due to the memories they created while living there, including raising children. So when a marriage ends, deciding what to do with the house can be fraught with anxiety. Sound familiar?

If you’re embarking on a divorce, you probably have a lot of thoughts running through your mind about the disposition of your home. Maybe you want to stay put because it’s familiar. Or maybe your kids have grown up there and you’re worried about uprooting them. Whatever your reasoning, it’s enough to feel like your back is against the wall and consider making the marital home the hill you’re willing to die on in your divorce. 

Often, people fight to keep the house in a divorce without considering whether it makes sense in the long term, and then find themselves unprepared to handle the burden, which can be both financial and emotional. So, before you commit to staying, ask yourself the following.

Can I afford it?

Numbers don’t lie and have no feelings, so get out your calculator. If you’re hoping to keep the house, you’ll need to be able to buy out your spouse’s share, refinance the mortgage in your name if needed, and cover all future expenses on your own, unless your divorce agreement provides otherwise. 

Basic expenses include the monthly mortgage, property taxes, insurance, utilities, and maintenance. Then account for everything beyond that that keeps a house running: landscaping, repairs, and general upkeep. After that, calculate how much it will cost you to live. 

Buyout

If you and your spouse agree that one of you will keep the house, there will usually be a buyout during the asset distribution phase of the divorce process. The buyout usually happens through a cash payment or by trading off other marital assets. 

The person giving up their share will then be removed from the deed, but may or may not remain on the mortgage. But again, this only works if the person keeping the house can actually handle it financially, and whether the complication of the mortgage can be worked out. Stretching beyond your budget just to hold on to the house can leave you stressed and financially stuck down the road.  

Further, just because ownership (title) of the house goes into one spouse’s name does not mean that the mortgage automatically gets transferred to that sole spouse’s name as well. Title on the house and indebtedness on the house are treated as two separate matters. Even if the title is quitclaimed to one spouse by the other, the lender can still collect the mortgage from anyone on the loan, whether they own the asset any longer or not.  

For this reason, whether you are the spouse keeping the house or the spouse giving it up, it is important to have the advice of an experienced family law attorney to consider whether the house will or can be refinanced and how different scenarios may impact you after the divorce.

Sell the House

If the buyout isn’t doable, selling the house during the divorce might make more sense. But selling has its own challenges. Depending on the market and other factors, the house may not sell quickly or for the price you want. You could also face capital gains taxes if the value has gone up a lot since you bought it.

Postpone Selling It

There’s also the question of timing. Maybe you’re hoping to wait until the kids finish school. Some couples agree to co-own the house for a while, keeping both names on the mortgage and title. This delays the sale but means you’re still financially tied together. 

There is a caveat: You will still be legally responsible if your ex falls behind on payments. It goes the other way, too: What if your income drops? What happens if interest rates are higher when you refinance? Can you afford a major repair if something breaks? 

Washington courts prefer a clean financial break, and due to the foreseeable risks involved, shared arrangements are usually temporary. To avoid problems, make sure you’re not overlooking these scenarios.

Are my emotions driving my decisions?

Dividing property means dealing with facts and future plans. That’s often easier said than done, especially when discussing a home filled with memories. Not surprisingly, we’ve seen people fight to stay in the house because they feel sentimental, guilty,  angry, or think it will make their spouse suffer. Decision-making driven by emotions is not typically a good move, especially if you will be co-parenting together. 

These emotions are understandable. However, those feelings don’t usually lead to wise decisions. Ask yourself: Do I actually want this house, or am I scared to let it go? Am I holding on to something familiar or trying to make a statement?

You might want to keep the marital home to avoid disrupting your kids’ lives. But building a new home in a place you can afford can bring more peace of mind than staying in one that leaves you stretched thin. Kids do better when their parents are emotionally and financially stable. 

Once you’re honest with yourself, making decisions that work for you becomes much easier. If you’re still unsure about the financial piece, talk to a Seattle family law attorney and a financial expert. They can help you get a clearer view of your options.

It’s important to note that your emotions can also not serve you well. If holding on to the house makes you feel constantly anxious, it might not give your family the stability you’re hoping for.

Am I thinking long term?

For most people, slicing up the marital pie in a divorce strains finances. Legal fees on top of splitting assets usually mean you’re starting your new post-divorce life with less. And you may have big plans. Good plans, which you’ll need to pay for. 

You may want to go back to school, start a business, travel, or build up your savings. Keep in mind, though, that these plans will be harder to pull off if you allocate too much of your budget to the house. There’s a big difference between living in a home and being stuck in an expensive one that limits your choices.

In some cases, selling the house and renting or downsizing for a while will be the better option. It can give you breathing room and flexibility until you get your bearings. You can always buy a new place later on, when your situation feels more stable. 

There can be something freeing about stepping into a new space that’s only yours without carrying the emotional baggage or pressure from continuing to be tied financially to your ex. You can’t do that if you’re holding onto the past vis-à-vis a house. 

Other Frequently Asked Questions

The following issues often arise when couples are unsure whether to keep the house after divorce. 

What if the house is only in my spouse’s name?

You may still have a claim if the marital home is titled only in your spouse’s name. In Washington, property acquired during the marriage is usually considered community property, even if only one name is on the deed. That means the value of the home might still be divided.

However, the situation could become more complicated if your spouse bought the house before the marriage and kept it in their name. Washington courts will consider whether you and your spouse used marital funds to make improvements, pay down the mortgage other than routine mortgage payments, or increase the value in any other way. If so, you could be entitled to a share of the equity. This is definitely something to talk through with a Seattle family law attorney.

What if my spouse won’t move out?

Living together during a divorce isn’t easy. Unless there’s a court order saying otherwise, neither of you has to leave the home just because divorce papers have been filed. So, don’t take matters into your own hands. Locking your spouse out or moving their things without a court order can backfire and complicate your case.

That being said, if there’s a safety issue, you can request a court order for the exclusive use of the home. That’s typically granted when there has been domestic violence or serious conflict.

If no safety concern exists but living together is still not working, talk to a Seattle family law attorney about your options. Sometimes, one spouse will agree to move out if funds are available for them to move and set up housekeeping elsewhere. You might reach a short-term arrangement until your divorce is final. The point is, you have options, and a family law attorney can help you decide which ones are best for you. 

How to Find a Seattle Divorce Attorney When Deciding Whether to Keep the House

Given how central the issue of the marital home can be in a divorce, it deserves the utmost attention so that you can make smart decisions with today in mind and tomorrow. At Elise Buie Family Law, we approach every divorce with patience and care so you can feel confident in your choices. Call us today or schedule a convenient time to speak.  some content here..