Every divorce is difference and brings its own unique challenges, however with every breakup comes a re-definition, a movement from the couple to the individual. While it is not unusual to experience feelings of loss, loneliness or grief- this can also be a time of self-reflection and growth. So how do you ring in the New Year with the New-and-Improved You? We share our top 5 tips for moving on from divorce with grace, joy and perhaps even enthusiasm.
- Move Through, not Against: Your feelings are real. You must let yourself experience those feelings regarding your divorce to move past them. It is normal to want to ignore pain or suffering or pretend it is not happening with distractions, but you just postpone the inevitable. Get the help you need; see a therapist. Give yourself the time, permission and space to morn your divorce.
- Love yourself: Remember your good qualities, your values, take a trip of self-discovery, and focus on what makes you happy. For you this may mean re-discovering the things you loved prior to your marriage and divorce, or discovering new passions. This process involves soul-searching. Have you always wanted to learn Italian? Run a marathon? Dye your hair blue? Now is the time. Remember what brings you joy and discover new paths back to it.
- Make Mistakes: Without the other party in your life you will be taking on a few new roles. Perhaps that means managing money where you haven't for quite a while, or learning to fix your car, or taking care of the children on your own. Be prepared to reach outside your comfort zone and allow yourself to make mistakes. It is all part of growing and learning. Change and growth can feel uncomfortable, remind yourself to push past the fear or discomfort.
- Set Goals: Know what you want and plan the steps you will need to take to get there. Start a journal to keep track of ideas. Give yourself permission to ask for what you want and believe in yourself; you have the power to actualize those dreams.
- Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude: Studies repeatedly show that people who focus on gratitude feel happier. According to Harvard Medical School gratitude “helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.” There are many ways to increase gratitude in your life; consciously make an effort to thank others. Keep a journal to record the everyday gifts you receive. Practice mindfulness, meditation or prayer. Turn gratitude into an everyday practice.
Because we focus solely on family law, we understand the dynamics and can help guide you through your divorce. Please contact Elise Buie Family Law Group, PLLC for a free consultation regarding your divorce. For more information about collaborative divorce or mediation please visit our website.